*A rare condition in which a tiny dinosaur lives inside of the vagina.

I think it’s time that we, here at the Atomisk corporate headquarters start giving back to the community.  I’ve felt somewhat guilty taking all that money the gov’t gave us as part of the bank bailout.  (Thanks, taxpayers!) The solid gold toilet seats (those things weigh a tonne) and fabregé eggs just don’t give me the same spring in my step after mocking working class people as they used to.  I feel as though something is missing in my life.

Which is why today, I’m spearheading a new section of the site for us all to contribute to:

ATOMISK TUTORIALS

We’re smart people who know things that dumb people don’t know.  So let’s teach those dumb people our smart things.  I’ll start.

CHAPTER 1: HOW TO MAKE A BANGING TECHNO CLUB HIT

Making a banging techno club hit is not as difficult as you may think at first.  There are really only two steps.

1. Draw these envelopes:
   
2. Side-chain them to the kick drum:
   

That’s it!  You’re done!  You now have a banging techno club hit!  Good job!

(Benevolent Hart, please make a tutorial category)

THE INSTITUTE FOR HUMAN CONTINUITY

Live at Vagabond Jan 9th