New site for you to wait by


DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no album ever coming out. Papa says, ‘If you see it in THE SUN it’s so.’ Please tell me the truth; is there ever going to be a new TFPP album?



VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a new album from TFPP coming out. It exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no actual album! It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe that we actually made the album??! You might as well not believe in teeth!!! You might get your papa to hire men to watch all the record stores on Tuesday (or is it friday now?) to catch TFPP in the “act of release”, but even if they did not see the album ever what would that prove? Nobody has heard the album yet, but that is no sign that there is no album at all. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can hear. Did you ever see golf fanatics messing up your front lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that golf does not exist. Nobody can conceive or bear children unless they are a female that has been impregnated.

You may tear apart the baby’s soul and see what makes the soul so important to the God and the Devil, but there is a free magic veil covering the baby which not the strongest charter mage, nor even the united strength of all the strongest metal bands that ever lived, could tear apart. Only bureaucracy, paperwork, legal proceedings, lobbying, can push aside that special curtain and view the supernal beauty and glory hole beyond. Is this making sense? Am I being clear? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else that is better than an ice cold beer on a sunny saturday afternoon.

A new TFPP album! Thank God! We have been working on it for literally forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, we will continue to be working on it probably. Enjoy your childhood while it lasts.

Grammy & Usage

1.) The King did not take the reins as he should have.

2.) The clouds reign in the sky.

4.) There were so many Horses! It was as if this were the annual “horse rains“.

Kanye West
Editor in Chief

I’m really want to start a band and i don’t know what to find a bandanme!?

’ll preface my update by saying ‘Thank You’ in advance!! My new computer runs on Windows 7 so that is great!! and a have an HP TouchSmart 420-1100t Desktop PC (got it for christmas xD) which I’m sure is more then what my brother has for music. He’s really good of doing but what i need it for (cuz i usually use it to make remixes) and an HP G62 Laptop which I use ALOT. So I don;t got to go out and the supplies. (WHICH I REFUSE TO SHOW MY PARENTS BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO FAITH IN GOD OR ART SO THEY’LL JUST SAY SOMETHING HORRIBLE) It seems to me that if a guy bothered to just practice, then he might find a band that would be just asking HIM to join up. But if you spend all day in the practice room, you could miss a cool show. I couldn’t find any bible passages about masturbation at all… is it that God just silent about masturbation because he is embaressed, but my parents think that “it’s disgusting” but my bro owns a macbook pro and he is always using the internet (that’s how I found this site!!) I think that if my brother had really wanted a better labtop I think he would avoid going to band practice, He would at least have said something like “Thats disgusting” && “Take a bath.” Any tips on how I can convince my parents to let me form a band and at least get their support? Any tips on if I do get a band where to start?

Music has been around for a long time, and since God does not clearly condemn it, I would not be too hot and bothered with it, neither. I’m not even kidding. Since I can’t never have anyone over cuz my parents and when I’m not playing guitar I practice the computer. So for I mastered the HTML (which I’m sure there’s more to learn like HTML4) and I am learning coding also. but yes I am really good at building sites which will be good to build the website for the band so we don’t have to hire someone to do that and I am good at editing soundtracks and using MIDI controllers also I have a printer that can print up blank CD’s so if I do form a band and we write our first (at least 10) songs and record them I can burn a demo CD and printer the cover to it so I have a demo. This might explain why when people, who practice in bands and who view masturbation as sinful, have a higher rate of prostate cancer. A LOTTTTTTT of my friends can masturbate so I do not think it’ll be “hard” to find someone. Your website really really helped me this year. I honestly never thought I’d be able to get down to the funky grooves my brother was laying down. I’ve been a heavy coder my whole life, and going to a start a band and being able to find members that fit is a new experience for me! I can convince him I’m not tryna copy him and he sees how far I take it with the band maybe he’ll help write the guitar pieces cuz he is REALLY good at making guitar music himself plus he has alot of good studio pieces (he used to have a band but it prettty much failed) such as an 8 track recorder, studio mics, and a mixboard. So I just know what tod do!?? Where can I find like a long list of bandnames to choose from? So again, THANKS!!!!

Atomisk Pornographic Fan Fiction

Atomisk Pornographic Fan Fiction
Vol 1. – The Airport

A handsome man and a beautiful woman sit across from each other at a dark black table made out of onyx stone. The walls are solid white marble and the sunlight is pouring in from a skylight more than 100 feet up. The two are staring stoicly into each other’s eyes. The man is wearing a standard tuxedo and the woman is wearing a pink party dress.

A wooden bowl of Raspberries is warmed exactly to 100 degrees Farenheight in a convection oven and placed in the center of the table directly in between the man and the woman by a female assistant wearing a cloak with a hood. As soon as the bowl touches the table, a slow dissonant music begins. The live ensemble can be clearly heard, but they cannot be seen. The man and woman are visibly agitated now, but they do not move or speak.

Outside of this room, there is a wheat field field with large airplane in the middle. The passengers have started to board the plane even though they know that it can not take off because there is no runway. The music gets louder and more intense. New instruments begin playing that have been silent until this point.

Inside the room, a single tear rolls down the man’s cheek. In response to this, the female assistant whispers, “no… no.. there is not any runway”. The woman chimes in with red puffy eyes leaking slowly. The assistant delicately at her side with comforting words: “The plane cannot take off. There is not any runway”. As the agitation builds, the raspberries begin to mutate into frogs. Some of them explode in anguish, flagging juices on the white walls. Before long, fully formed frogs begin leaping out of the bowl. The assistant suddenly dies from radiation poisoning.

Outside, a group of hired consultants have arrived to harvest the wheat. The consultants are wearing pink dresses, even though they are all males. They awkwardly hover, unsure of what to do about the situation. They do not have any specific instruction to rely on in this unusual circumstance, nor is there any leader present to provide guidance. They speak about this unusual circumstance in their primary languages with one another.

Written by Atomisk fan: @OsirisLordOfHell

“I was kicked out of a Vanilla Ice concert in Fargo, North Dakota last year.”

“I was kicked out of a Vanilla Ice concert in Fargo, North Dakota last year.”

For weeks, I have been marveling at the sheer natural beauty of the sentence.
So balanced….
So perfect….
I find a deep flowing peace within the phrase. I could just crawl inside that sentence and sleep forever!!!!!

On the other hand:

“That bloody gut! He’s really been assing it up for quite a while now. That insensitive bitch of a motherless goat! Cunt Cakes, you are such a titty-fucking blameless God-send and there’s nothing anyone can do, thus, to hell you go.”

Now read this article backwards.

Instruction Manual

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Converse. If you don’t converse, you will never be a ballerina. Those who play sports or are too much inside of music, they lose the world.

Cook Bratwurst. If you don’t cook Bratwurst, you will never be a circus trapeze artist. Those who #twerk or are have spent > 10k hours in WOW, they lose the world.

Win the U.S. Open. If you don’t win the U.S. Open, you will never be a feared, deadly samurai. Those who dedicate their entire lives to creating beautiful illuminations of the first letters of bible passages, or collect rare scorpions from Subsaharan Africa, they lose the world.

Purchase shares of Ali Baba during the invite-only IPO. If you don’t Purchase shares of Ali Baba during the invite-only IPO, you will never be a humungous bodybuilder with rock hard abs, oiled and glistening beneath the sweltering stagelights. Those who research the transit systems of The Great Cities of Western Europe or have spent the last year writing an experientially-oriented book about traveling the world and sampling all the wacky! and wild! international variations of Reeses™ Peanut Butter Cups, they lose the world.