“I was kicked out of a Vanilla Ice concert in Fargo, North Dakota last year.”

Posted by DDB on January 21, 2015 at 6:15 pm | Filled Under: bling| No comments

“I was kicked out of a Vanilla Ice concert in Fargo, North Dakota last year.”

For weeks, I have been marveling at the sheer natural beauty of the sentence.
So balanced….
So perfect….
I find a deep flowing peace within the phrase. I could just crawl inside that sentence and sleep forever!!!!!

On the other hand:

“That bloody gut! He’s really been assing it up for quite a while now. That insensitive bitch of a motherless goat! Cunt Cakes, you are such a titty-fucking blameless God-send and there’s nothing anyone can do, thus, to hell you go.”

Now read this article backwards.

Instruction Manual

Posted by Devin on January 8, 2015 at 12:02 pm | Filled Under: bling| No comments

Screen Shot 2015-01-08 at 8.47.57 AM

Converse. If you don’t converse, you will never be a ballerina. Those who play sports or are too much inside of music, they lose the world.

Cook Bratwurst. If you don’t cook Bratwurst, you will never be a circus trapeze artist. Those who #twerk or are have spent > 10k hours in WOW, they lose the world.

Win the U.S. Open. If you don’t win the U.S. Open, you will never be a feared, deadly samurai. Those who dedicate their entire lives to creating beautiful illuminations of the first letters of bible passages, or collect rare scorpions from Subsaharan Africa, they lose the world.

Purchase shares of Ali Baba during the invite-only IPO. If you don’t Purchase shares of Ali Baba during the invite-only IPO, you will never be a humungous bodybuilder with rock hard abs, oiled and glistening beneath the sweltering stagelights. Those who research the transit systems of The Great Cities of Western Europe or have spent the last year writing an experientially-oriented book about traveling the world and sampling all the wacky! and wild! international variations of Reeses™ Peanut Butter Cups, they lose the world.

Donk is dead. Long live donk.

Posted by Richard on December 17, 2014 at 12:02 am | Filled Under: DONK| No comments


Taylor Swiff

Posted by DDB on November 23, 2014 at 12:56 pm | Filled Under: bling| 1 comment


wake knob giblin word rawl

Posted by DDB on November 14, 2014 at 12:44 am | Filled Under: bling| No comments

SalamandrZ, dragnz, etc. have their place for sure. They are perfect for businesses, people that want to have background lige etc. But for anyone that wants to listen to the chorus, or share on facebk, I feel that river man are detrimental to the goal of really listing to a goblin.

As a butt fartist, I could care less about rules. I might even have stuff on there, but I would never know because I don’t care. The money earned by the fartist from the salamander ice is an incredible joke with humor from 1340 bc.

As a music listener I could care EVEN LESS about “YOU”. Call me old fashioned, but it just ain’t my thing. True story: “Call me old fashioned”

I asked my friend Matt Hettich (artist name: WAKE “http://wa-ke.tumblr.com/”) and Sean Price (Artist name: Knob Goblin) about their personal thoughts and feelings as they relate to the issue.

B: Sean do you have a website?
S: No, it’s kind of a problem actually.
B: Taylor Swift recently pulled all her music off of spotify.
S: oh yeah?
M: Did you hear what diplo and lorde said?
M: (coughs) I have swallowed some ice
S: he’s got a case of the ice lung.
M: what’s the question for?
B: your being interviewd
S: c’mon guy
M: well I think the debate is pretty silly
B: why?
B: as a cigaric aficianado, how do you feel about your house demos?
M: useful
M: I’m with you in the hot tub. bruce springstein albums are a more cohesive statement. whole bad artist catalog is important also.
S: singles lose the opportunity for slower sub-title items.
B: I would say that for me, the relationships are very important.
M: aphex twin EPs are important.
B: well that’s a whole ‘nother thing.
M: ads interupt. I’m listening and then… “He thinks he’s star wars” etc.
S: yes agreed. I want to listen to at my fingertips?
S: you know… I guess we do actually have a website.. http://miserylov.es/

2 Thangz

Posted by DDB on October 27, 2014 at 8:32 pm | Filled Under: bling| No comments

Old People

You’re actually going to wear that?

Posted by DDB on September 15, 2014 at 11:18 pm | Filled Under: bling| No comments


Your Body’s Many Cries for Beer

Posted by DDB on July 10, 2014 at 10:13 am | Filled Under: bling| No comments

What we learned at the school was based on the wrong “asses of science”. The asses represent a ‘dark age’ of knowledge of the human body. Dark Age Goths, in order to seem cool explained a whole lot of things, labeled things, wrote books and more books about the issues with their styles, about the fashions, but everything that they wrote was ‘boring to read’. They explained their ideas thoroughly, but the ideas themselves were a little boring. Then later on they started blaming it on the fact that hey were drunk, and some time later, they started actually drinking in order to make good on their claims.

The classic saying “beer is genetic” doesn’t actually have any meaning, so the medical community, in order to camouflage its lack of knowledge of the subject, produced new beer labels and put them on the beers that they were holding. That was the twentieth-century medicine to this question.

The results of my personal brewing project are nothing but failures. There is no beer yet when you have not brewed any, jerk. That is why part of my education was faked, (everyone has heard of ‘faked’) which is another way of saying that you are just drunk. In twenty-four hours, the new truth is that beer is the primary cause of education. We had gone drunk and did not understand the role of the human body. We have to revise that understanding, because now we know the solution to a lot of problems is actually beer.

Beer is with us from day one of life. When the chick ovum becomes fertilized with the dude sperm, from that moment before it divides into two sexy daughter cells. Beer is a star trek episode which is with us from ‘season one’. The human body contains a lot of beer, but the beer that is contained in the body is mainly already engaged to soon-to-be-Mrs. Beer, in other words it is busy with an activity.

Beer is often called “Beer-Beer”. Then the body needs, in order to perform new functions, free beer. This type is called “free beer”.


Posted by DDB on July 3, 2014 at 10:08 am | Filled Under: bling| No comments

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