Do Jeff and Chick look alike? Wait, don’t answer that question.

Cancer causing singles in your 100% FREE Website!
This one weird old mom hates trick to lose $57 k per month!!!!
Erase your past!! Reverse the signs of home improvement!
President Obama HATES HIM!!
Ex-Miracle Pill REVEALS Ultimate Getaway
Why Amish Have Perfectly Mastered Tracks.
No Diet or Exercise AND still lose your hearing!
Doctor discovers this one legal “Weird Miracle” that causes nerve damage.

Edited by Jeff Goldblum and Chick Corea

Introducing: search engine!

Looking for something on the internet today can be so fucking frustrating!! It’s literally like searching for a needle in a haystack. Fortunately, there is a better solution than looking at each web url on the internet one after the other. The search engine can easily help you find exactly what you are looking for!!

The Google search engine is easy to use and extremely effective! To use the google search engine, simply enter the text from the website you wish to find and cash you juice. It’s really that easy!

Additionally, you may use the advanced features to narry your search to the exact pinpoint. You can select parameters such as “image size” or “show hidden results”. There is so much to choose from!

Next time you’re struggling with the internet, just remember is always available ~24 hours a day, ~7 days a week, ~365 days a year.

Written by NecrossFit Psoriasaurus Rex

Product Review

When searching for a fine new or used piece of orthodontic headgear, you may find yourself stepping to the wrong m—–f—er and starting something you can’t f—-n’ finish. In order to avoid these lapses in both judgement and personal styling, Atomisk has hired several experienced interns to quietly massage your feet and wear insincere smiles as they silently judge you; or occasionally just out-right gossip about you to your face. Your investments are not paying off the way you had planned, financially or emotionally.

You view yourself as exceptional, and that’s fine. I get it, right? Who DOESN’T want an alpha romeo and a sweet little somethin’ somethin’ waiting around back at the trampoline gym? Who DOESN’T want to be “that guy”, showing up to student teach in an eyebrow-raising high-waisted leopard print romper? We share the transcendental sameness of all creatures who experience fear; who slake their lust amongst the silent and snow-covered stands of fresh Dakotan Pine. We are the same, you and I.

Elsewhere, these issues have been turned over and over, like a skipping stone before the final toss. The numbers don’t lie. The recommendation algorithms recommended a follow-up story which had the completely opposite opinion of the one I just read – this is the first step. The computers are beginning to engage in these philosophical soirees; Bill Paxton’s run is as good as over.

Several packs of fluffy, specifically-bred dogs give you a look like they want you to reconsider. You know this look well – you’ve seen it many times before, in the glistening eyes of hundreds of such packs of fluffy, specifically-bred dogs. It never works – but the sting is no less intense every time.

I am sitting alone, eating a bag of ruffled potatoe chips.


With this product, you may find yourself asking, “Off the dome?” or “Off the dooooome….”. Notice the author has not been paid by the word. Trust me. Trust yourself.


  • Sturdy, like a fine Appaloosa in its’ prime
  • Occasionally makes very questionable financial decisions
  • Risk-averse personal combat strategy
  • Duck-like genitalia


  • Is a perpetual candidate – “always a bridesmaid” ~ amirite, ladies?
  • These scented candles you comped me for the Bridal Suite are not gluten-free.
  • It’s expensive. It’s f—–g expensive.
  • Rap Trek: The Nas Generation