i be cuttin’ down vegetarians like iraqis

Fourth of July.

America.

Freedom.

Sometimes you’ve gotta grab that bald eagle by the horns, grab it down, look it straight in the eye, and declare, “I AM AN AMERICAN, DAMN IT!  AND I DESERVE THE BEST.  I DESERVE IT ALL!”

Rockets’ Red Glare: Freedom Edition (mp3)

The vitalize plugin is being blocked by the server! The unripened humans will have no choice!!! I decided to make fast with the internet, and alert all relevant authorities.  The results were devastating.   Tommorow evening the 3 of us remaining will travel to Oakland, CA in search of the answear.  Maybe it is embedded in the hills of this wild country, maybe not.  We are taking it upon ourselves to feel the truth with our fingers, and not merely observe the results of some highly good search engine on our computer-screens.  6hours there, 6hours back, with 4th of July traffic to fight, and no place to stay, it’s safe to say that this could be an unsafe journey.  The results will return soon enough.

Keith.

Keith?

Hi, we spoke on the phone.

Not to be rude, Keith, but I gotta ask, are you a cop?
You understand. Attorney, right? Attorney.

Tasseled shoes! Entertainment lobby, I’d guess. Relax, this is my job. To know people. To know what people want. What’s behind their eyes. Okay, Okay- so tell me. Have you ever jacked in? Have you ever wiretripped?

Oh! A vrigin brain! Good. Good, so we’re gonna start you off right.

I’ll set you up, I’ll get you a deck in the car, since my thing is the software.

Now listen, I want you to know what we’re talking about here. Okay? This is not like TV, only better. This is life. It’s a piece of somebody’s life. It’s pure and uncut, straight from the cerebral cortex. I mean, you’re there. You’re doing it. You’re seeing it, you’re hearing it.

You’re feeling it.

It’s exactly anything. It’s whatever you want. It’s whoever you want to be. Okay, I mean, if you want to go skiing without leaving your den, you can, But I’m assuming that I guy like you- when you want to go ski, you fly to Aspen. That’s not what you’re interested in here, it’s-

it’s about stuff that you can’t have, right?

The forbidden fruit, hm? Like running into a liquor store with a .357 Magnum in your hand, feeling the adrenaline pumping through your veins. Or you see that guy over there with the drop dead Philippino girlfriend? Wouldn’t you like to be that guy for 20 minutes? The right 20 minutes?

I can make it happen, and you won’t even tarnish your wedding ring. I can get you what you want. I can get you anything, you just have to talk to me, you just have to trust me- trust me.

Because I’m your priest. I’m your shrink. I’m your main connection to the switchboard of the soul.

I’m the Magic Man. The Santa Clause of the subconscience. You say it, you think it, you can have it.

I am currently working on a “covers” album with no working album title.

Hits included will reflect the values of Devin S., Kool Keith, Kid Ill, Scott Walker, and much much much much much many mo’. The album is not almost finished. So hold on.

Other projects that have begun and not yet been completed include:

THE ATOMISK RECORDS ELTON JO(H)N COMPILATION TRIPLE TRIBUTE

the ‘ol TFPP stuff (secret project with utilized public accesses)

The awful Ulch and His torture balloons record.

The naked face CD (will never be finished)

Ixtli Sexion III (no reason this shouldn’t be finished)

1erFF0000eidolon (a continued project)

the divention album (will never be finished, but a bastard might get thrown up on some occasion.)

The Power Hour DVD (please…..call me back, Max Winston)

and so much more.

I am teaching at Ultra#2 in Thousand Oaks this summer. I have not yet seen an oak tree here. I am training youths on such programs as Multimedia Fusion 2, and Adobe Everything, etc. etc. These unripened humans learn the dull art of Video Game Creation and Web Design. What up!!! I been 2 like a thousand-hundro high-classed parTAYZZZ that require blang and limos. U don’t never afford them shitz, you don’t have enough money for them. My dog Heidi (a supple old golden retriver) will most likely receive the ‘ol “put down” later this week. Slip me a spill thrill for her if you dare (just do it anywhere).

I am dating a sweet young one named S.D.W. She can be found live at the show this thursday in Silverlake. I heard Beck’s new CD is Cool. I heard Otto Von Shirach’s CD is Cool. ZACH HILL is coming out with a new album soon. Zach hill is lucky because he is the fastest drummer in the world and he is also “craze”. Wake (matt hettich) is having an album in the fall entitled “the future of girlfriends”. Catalog records is gearing up to release their 3rd compilation this year. I hope that they include RCL destroyer’s track, but we’ll see if they do or not……..let’s see what here?

For all the for being awesome, I don’t feel like they are that they because the .int. of their .ric. systems is a lot. Also, If you’ve listened to Horatiu Radelescu and were bored, listen again.

Scott Walker does a duet with Billy Ocean (”get out of my dreams, and into my car) on the CD “Climate of Hunter”

I’ve got some ideas for “suprises” that will unfortunately only be valuable to those with PCs

More to come.

I’ll be your mother for today only.

It occurred to me that a tone needs to be established from the get go.

To whom it may concern,

My name is Richard.  Richard Haig.  Before I met Atomisk, I was the most stunning member of the stunning Richard Haig, Peter, Bjorn, & John.  I wrote a bunch of great fantastic stuff for Richard Haig, Peter, Bjorn, & John.  Times were good: we were Swedish!  And indie!  Indie Swedes!

But alas, things were not to be.  It is a falacy that “indie” record labels are free from the political constraints of marketing shenanigans.  It was deemed that the name “Richard Haig Peter Bjorn & John” was just plain too long to be memorable.  In fact it was claimed that it was exactly one name and two words long to be memorable and catchiable.  So I was axed.  Before I left, I’d penned a sweet little ditty which I called “Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, bow wow wow wow wow wow wow.”  This was blatently ripped off and adapted to some fucking bullshit prissy boring song known to you clubbers as “Young Folks.”

Tarnation! You hipster Williamsburg, VA residents ought to know your roots.  Go back to the masters, find the unmixed tapes.  That’s where you’ll find the real talent, the real treasures.  Oh no, you won’t find it on Soulseek, you won’t find it on The Pirate Bay, no, you won’t even find it on Indie Torrents!  For the first time ever, I’m releasing the unreleased demo of “Young Folks” that never came to be!!!!

Behold!  And be in the awes!!!

Richard Haig, Peter, Bjorn, & John - UNRELEASED Young Folks DEMO!!!! (mp3)